38-25. Simply Bothersome

There are certain things in life that tend to grate the mozzarella of many. These are just some of those graters:

PEOPLE THAT WEAR SUNGLASSES INDOORS AT NIGHT >>> What the chickens are you doing? Sunglasses were invented by some budding entrepreneur so that people's eyes could be protected from harmful UV rays. Which come from the sun. Which is out during the day. Usually outside. So where's the logic in what you're doing? Come on buddy, take them off.

WHEN PEOPLE WRITE "YOUR" INSTEAD OF "YOU'RE" >>> Too many people do this. Why?

PEOPLE WHO WEAR CROCS>>> We know you thinks it's cheese-cool but actually it's just bleh. It isn't even nice in a zeff way. If we find you we will feed your feet to our dragon because YOU certainly don't deserve to have footsies if you dress 'em in crocs.

GUYS WHO GROPE>>>> hello?? females are not walking pillars of sex. Some of us don't like to be turned into squeeze toys.... If you touch me I will not think you are hot/cool/sexy/amazing and no, I certainly will not feel inclined to do you on the dancefloor so why not just BACK THE FUDGE DOWN.

PEOPLE WHO SAY "and I" INCORECCULARLY>>>> Ok guys here's the rub---> would you normally say: "me ate a cake?" NO. so why say "Jenny and me ate a cake..." ? it's the same. Equally incorrecular is to say "That food is for Sally and I." when do you ever say "That is for I???" please don't be retarded, its just annoying if you don't actually have a medical condition.

FEMALES THAT WEAR REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY SHORT DRESSES >>> Your shoes are expensive. Your hair looks awesome. Your make up is immaculate. Your jewellery is beautiful. So clearly you're not destitute. So why couldn't you afford the rest of that dress? It is not sexy when half your ass is sticking out! Go home little girl, go home...

PEOLE WHO PRONOUNCE "MENLYN" AND "BROOKLYN" AS "MENLANE" AND "BROOKLANE" >>> Please dear human, tell me where you see an a in any of those words. Please! Maybe I'm just illiterate.

THE LITTLE COTTON THINGS THEY PUT IN PILL BOTTLES >>> Why do they do that? Ok there's a reason but how am I supposed to get my happy pills?!? Why must cotton be the moat preventing me from entering the castle of happy hapiness?!?

PEOPLE WHO MAKE OUT IN LECTURE HALLS >>> Its all good and well that you guys are in love. We're happy for you. But when people say "get a room" they usually mean an empty one. Where people aren't trying to get an education.