We all know and love the Ranting Swede from Sheep in the Big City. And if you don't know him, you should defs watch some more Cartoon Network. And if you know him but don't love him...well...you're SO not that guy!
So we've compiled a list of Ranting Swedisms to keep you happy. These are the equivalent of using "You know what really grates my cheese?" because that phrase is so 1800s.
>>I'll tell you one thing that cooks my meatballs!
>>I'll tell you what gets my goat!
>>I'll tell you something that steams my clams!
>>I'll tell you one thing that scrambles my eggs but good!
>>I'll tell you something that really steals my hubcap!
>>I'll tell you one thing that really clips my begonias!
>>I'll tell you someone who really panfries my veal cutlet!
>>You know what really installs my aluminium siding?
>>You know what really gets my goat cheese?
>>You know what really shreds my sensitive documents?
>>I'll tell you something that tips my valet parking attendant good!
>>I'll tell you what really steams my wrinkled blouses!
>>You know what really shaves my house cat in preparation for a veterenary procedure?
>>You know what really tweezes my eyebrows in the middle?
And because we love you, here are some actual rants from our favourite ranting Swede, The Ranting Swede:
"I'll tell you something that really steals my hubcap! I'm walking down the street and all of a sudden there's a sign, flashing in my face saying "DON'T WALK". Don't walk? What am I supposed to do? Are you going to buy me a car so I can drive? Or maybe a motor scooter? Wait! Now it says walk! Arrgh the crazy sign can't even make up it's mind! I can't stand a wishy washy sign! Now a stop sign, there's a sign with oomph!"
"I'll tell you what really steams my wrinkled blouses! When people come up to me and say "Hey! You've got a hungry bobcat on your head!". Like I don't know that! What business is it of theirs anyway? I could walk around with anything on my head, its a free country isn't it? And I know the cat's name (Bob) in the first place and-*he looks in a mirror*-AHHH! There's a bobcat on my head! AHHH! I still hate it when people tell me that though. AHHH!!!" *meow*
"I'll tell you something that bathes my cat but good! I go to the grocery the other day and I say to the vegetable man "Well I like yellow grapefruit but not pink grapefruit" and he says "Suit yourself." I'M SUPPOSED TO SUIT MYSELF? Oh no! It's so complicated! You have to cut, you have to stitch and everything has to be just right! And then there's double stitching! And then what if I fit it and it's last years style?!? I'd have to ALTER IT!"
"I'll tell you what gets my goat! Have you ever seen a piano? It's got 88 keys and I only have 10 fingers! And every key makes a different note. If I wanna play the piano, I have to invite more than 8 friends! And that's extra fingers doing nothing! And all the friends will want some snacks and some chips and some cheese curls and they'll want some Shrimpola Cola. "Hey do you have any Shrimpola Cola?" I don't even know what that is and I'm from Sweden! It's ridiculous! They should have just 10 keys on a piano and leave it at that!"
~Thank you to Mo Williams for creating Sheep In The Big City
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